An adage Grace Chng lives by is to quit while you’re ahead. Among other things, she applies it to her alcohol intake: once an avid drinker with a penchant for red wine, the prominent figure in Singapore’s high society now exercises moderation for health reasons.
“These days, my drinking falls within a 10-day window, then I abstain for the next 10 days,” she says. “People tell me, ‘You’ve become so guai’ but it’s actually because I’ve learnt to say ‘no’ now that I’ve made progress. It’s just like in gambling: if you’re winning, you need to know when to walk away.”
She currently only drinks when she’s with friends or on vacation. If her husband Ben Chng, CEO of instant beverage manufacturer Viz Branz, tempts her with her favourite bottle when they’re home, she responds with, “Okay, just one glass”.
Her larger point to this anecdote, however, is that people could do with more temperance. “I feel like a growing number of people lack self-control, not only with vices but also with habits like doomscrolling,” she says.
“They think they will lose their freedom if they limit themselves, but real freedom lies in practising self-control. When we’re no longer reliant on something that isn’t good for us, we become free.”
Grace Chng on reframing freedom
But she’s not one to impose her opinions on others—not even her children. “She never took an authoritarian approach when she had to discipline my brother and I when we were younger,” says her daughter Coco, who joins Grace in this cover feature. “If we chose not to heed her advice, she’d let us experience things on our own, and if it turned out that she had been right, she wouldn’t say, ‘I told you so’. Her gentle and encouraging nature as a parent makes it easy to confide in her.”
The 26-year-old psychology graduate currently works as an early interventionist—a behavioural specialist who works with children with developmental delays or disabilities—while pursuing a specialist diploma in early childhood intervention at the National Institute for Early Childhood Intervention. Her 23-year-old brother Marco is finishing a finance degree in Sydney, Australia.
On Grace: Jean Schlumberger by Tiffany & Co. Fish Brooch in yellow gold with sapphires and turquoise, Jean Schlumberger by Tiffany & Co. Orchid Brooch in platinum and yellow gold with diamonds, Jean Schlumberger by Tiffany & Co. Cooper Bracelet in yellow gold and platinum with sapphires and diamonds, all from Jean Schlumberger by Tiffany & Co. Cotton shirt, Grace’s own.
Coco’s profession has influenced Grace to some degree. “You know, I thought I understood the meaning of love, but after watching Coco interact with her students, I realised there is a lot I can learn from her. She comes home from work every day happy and smiling,” says Grace. “She pulls up photos of her students and goes, ‘They’re so cute, right?’ It’s amazing to see her bigheartedness.”
A matter of discretion
Originally from Hong Kong, Grace moved to Singapore in 1997 after marrying her husband. They met through friends and dated for about a year before getting married.
Their conjugality was, however, anchored on one condition, she reveals. “When we met for the third time, Ben said, ‘I’d like to court you’. I said, ‘If you’re not a Christian, I’m not dating you’.” He acknowledged our differences, to which I said, ‘That’s that then’,” she recounts.
“Even so, I suggested he attend church for his own good and see how he felt. He went and was touched by the testimonies. It didn’t take him long to become a believer.”
A lifelong Christian, Grace founded a cell group for those in her social circle 17 years ago—not for exclusivity, but to provide a private space for meaningful fellowship. “In the earlier days, I opened up the group so more people could benefit from the sermons by our pastor. Several members cautioned that people outside the circle might join us with motives like gathering gossip, but I thought we would be okay,” she explains. “Unfortunately, I learnt the hard way that what they said was true.”
These days, the group remains invite-only—a decision rooted in discretion rather than exclusion. “There have been times when people felt hurt about not being invited, and some no longer acknowledge me when we cross paths,” she admits. “It’s never easy, but I’ve come to see that protecting the group’s purpose sometimes means making difficult choices.”
Now that her children are grown, Grace spends a lot of her time travelling with Ben, which they didn’t have the luxury of doing together when Coco and Marco were younger. “We used to worry about what would happen to the kids if something were to happen to us, so I’d stay behind whenever he travelled for work,” she explains. The only time they travelled together was as a family.
A social cause she gets behind is supporting residents in old folks’ homes. “Most people choose to help kids, so I choose to help the elderly. Besides, I enjoy chatting with them; they are always full of wisdom. They can be very sharp despite their age. I used to make weekly visits to a home. One time, I was unable to make it, and when I dropped by the following week, they asked, ‘Why didn’t you come last week?’ They always look forward to our company.”
Greater inclusivity
Her mother’s pursuit of fashion and design taught Coco the importance of self-fulfilment. While she has always loved kids, it wasn’t until her final year of university that she felt compelled to work with them. “Given my field of study, I always knew I would have a career in psychology. My focus shifted to working with children only after I took an educational psychology module. I found it fascinating.”
To see if she could cope with the demands of nurturing children, she found a job at a childcare centre. It didn’t take her very long to get an answer. The stint made her realise she wanted to do something even more meaningful in this line of work, which led her to pursue early intervention.
It is a field that could do with a lot more support, she emphasises. As it stands, there is an undersupply of teachers with the necessary skill sets. Additionally, there is a lack of awareness about the needs of children with developmental disabilities. “It would help if more people educated themselves about this segment of society and the government supported them with educational initiatives.”
Increasing inclusive public spaces would also be a good start, she says.
“We have made some progress here in Singapore, but a broader shift in mindset and perception is still needed. Changing how society views and includes individuals with special needs is crucial for building stronger, more empathetic communities.”
Coco Chng on actionable steps
Coco is also concerned about the damaging effects of immoderate social media use among children given that interactive technologies facilitate comparison. Highly-edited images create unrealistic beauty standards and instil self-criticism. “I must admit that I sometimes fall prey to these expectations as well, so it’s crucial to ensure children can discern between the polished world of online content and the complex, authentic nature of everyday life.”
It is thanks to her mother, she says, that she can not only cope with the lemons life lops at her, but also deal with them with equanimity. “I often find myself echoing my mum’s philosophy of ‘nothing is ever so serious in life’. No matter how daunting a problem may seem, I always remember to take a step back, take a deep breath, and approach it with humour and perspective, as she always has,” she illustrates.
She is also beginning to see the ways in which she resembles her mother. “There are moments when I catch myself using her catchphrases or tone, and they are comforting reminders of the resilience she has instilled in me.”
The well-balanced young woman Coco has blossomed into makes Grace very proud. Her advice for mothers? Prioritise a happy home because positivity lasts a lifetime. “It is best that a family not fight over small things. Family affection is more important than arguing over who is wrong or right. Tolerance is essential,” she says.
“When children have a happy childhood, it is easier for them to recover from bad experiences that come their way when they are adults.”
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Photography Stefan Khoo
Styling Chia Wei Choong
Makeup Keith Bryant Lee using Dior Beauty
Hair Peter Lee using Goldwell
Photography assistant Alif
Styling assistant Annalisa Lim
