She was facing defeat at the hands of Vietnamese silat exponent Nguyen Thi Cam Nhi, down by over 10 points at one point in the match. Her opponent only needed to adopt a defensive stance for the remaining few minutes for victory. The Bac Tu Liem District Sporting Hall had turned into a cauldron, its inhabitants willing the hometown hero to a win. But Nurul Suhaila dug deep, even as the fans in the stadium chanted “Vietnam” repeatedly.
“I don’t like losing,” says Suhaila, laughing. “I think my best trait is remaining calm and composed under pressure.” The 2018 silat world champion punched and kicked her way out of the deficit. As the lead narrowed, Nguyen’s confidence wavered, her pensive eyes betraying her inner thoughts. Suhaila remained ice cool.
The 28-year-old is the first to admit that confidence was never her strong suit growing up. She used to be incredibly insecure and cried whenever anyone passed negative comments about her. As a child, she was extremely timid, constantly hiding from other people. She only took up silat at the age of six to follow in the footsteps of her two elder siblings; her brother picked up the martial art after a bullying incident in school left him with a bloodied head. He wanted to learn to defend himself.
The three were youth powerhouses, blessed by supportive parents who also loved sports. Suhaila’s mother played tennis and ran track and field while her father was in his school football team. All three siblings made the national team, representing the country in different competitions.
However, Suhaila stood out even among her older peers. She was quick, strong, and possessed preternatural grit. “When I was 12, I told myself I would become a world champion. At that age, I didn’t know what it meant, but I just wanted to be the best.”
Her brother’s interest in silat waned after National Service while her sister became a full-time flight attendant after suffering a severe knee injury. Suhaila, however, received the Sports Excellence (SPEX) Scholarship—which offers holistic support to athletes with world-class potential—in 2017 after winning a silver medal at the 2015 silat world championships. Prior to that breakthrough, she had racked up third and second place showings at several Southeast Asian (SEA) Games. She even scored a podium finish at the 2017 edition despite fighting with a broken left hand she sustained just two weeks before the competition started. “The doctor told me I shouldn’t fight because I might get a shaft fracture, which is when the bone protrudes out of my hand,” says Suhaila with a smile.
In two weeks, she upended her entire fighting style to accommodate her left hand and won bronze. Many would have been jubilant at the showing, but Suhaila admitted she mentally beat herself up. That elusive gold medal remained just out of reach.
The country’s sporting board’s confidence in her paid off a year later in 2018 during the 2018 silat world championships held in Singapore. Suhaila defeated long-time nemesis and two-time world champion Selly Andriani in the semi-finals, giving her a boost of confidence that propelled her to the throne. She took down Janejira Wankrue in the final.
Suhaila had arrived.
Ironically, her biggest battle was not fought on the mats, but with herself. In 2020, an eight-year relationship heavily covered by the media broke down. It affected her badly. “I was in a dark place at that point, and I knew I needed to be alone and independent so I could find peace with myself.”
Her first independent decision was moving out of the family home. Over the course of her life, her decisions were shaped and guided by her parents, siblings, coaches, and more. Moving out was entirely her doing.
Her mother was devastated and constantly worried about her daughter. But Suhaila loved the taste of freedom. It showed in her training, as she piled on the muscle to take on the heavier opponents in the 65kg to 70kg weight class for the upcoming 2021 Hanoi Southeast Asia (SEA) Games; Suhaila was a lot more comfortable in the lighter classes. Soon, beams of light pierced through the shadows in her dark place.
Photo: Joel Low.
The same light was getting brighter at the semi-finals of the 2021 SEA games (postponed to May 2022 because of the pandemic but kept the year). Suhaila had finally closed the gap between her and the Vietnamese opponent, Nguyen Thi Cam Nhi, in the third round. When the last bell rang, she had emerged victorious, winning 47 to 45.
The final was a more one-sided affair, as Suhaila stamped her dominance over her Malaysian opponent and won with a score of 30 to 20.
She was now the regional and world champion. Her dream, 15 years in the making, had come true.
The day after retirement for any professional athlete can be incredibly jarring. A life of discipline and regimen abruptly brought to a standstill, the roads of freedom stretching out before them, a multitude of opportunities. And yet, there have been many documented cases of retired athletes falling into depression. Multiple studies show that one-third of athletes sink into a negative spiral after hanging up their uniforms.
Suhaila professes that the next step has been occupying her mind for several months now. She’s been in silat for almost all of her life and still loves the sport. But she knows Father Time is undefeated. “I want to do something related to sports and the media,” the mass communications graduate says. That’s still far into the future. Now, she hopes to inspire other women, too.
Her gospel is deceptively simple and incisive: women shouldn’t be afraid of not being great at something. “Just try it out. There’s always a first step in every journey. Don’t fear sucking at something,” she laughs. “Throughout my years in silat, I’ve always been told that I don’t look like a fighter. I always took that as a challenge for myself.”
Doubt and negativity bring many of us down, but Suhaila uses it as fuel to propel herself forward and upward. She’s no longer that timid six-year-old hiding behind her siblings.
No, Suhaila is your world champion.
Photography: Joel Low
Styling: Chia Wei Choong
Photography Assistant: Eddie Teo
Styling Assistant: Laura
Hair: Christvian Wu, using Revlon Professional
Makeup: Wee Ming, using Chanel Beauty
Watches and jewellery: Cartier
