Most divorces occur between the fifth and ninth years of marriage, according to a 2024 report by the Singapore Department of Statistics. This may be due to mounting pressures in a marriage and a lack of capacity to address unmet expectations, says Delia Ng, CEO of Focus on the Family Singapore (FOTF SG). Established in 2000, the Christian charity works to prevent marriage and family breakdowns by providing education and support.
Ng began her career in social service as a Child Protection Officer with the Ministry of Social and Family Development before joining FOTF SG as its Partnerships Manager in 2014. Steadily climbing the ranks saw her become COO in 2020 before assuming her current role in 2023.
Among other services, FOTF SG holds workshops for marriage enrichment, offers specialised counselling services to help couples address challenges, and broadcasts a Connect2 Marriage podcast with advice on managing finances, navigating dynamics with in-laws, and maintaining intimacy.
It also runs FamChamps, a community movement designed to help children and youths build family values and empower them through family-focused action projects.
Strong family ties are a cause Ng holds dear to her heart because she is no stranger to the pains of growing up in a broken home. Her father left the family when she was just a few months old and her older brothers moved out soon afterwards. It was thanks to the tireless efforts of her aunt, godparents, pastors, and teachers, she says, that she was set on the right path.
But while she now wants to pay it forward, there are hoops to jump through. For one, evolving societal norms have inadvertently undermined the value of lifelong and committed marriages, she notes. In addition, as much as children need a safe and loving home to discover their identity, develop a sense of belonging, and learn to care and contribute, they often bear the emotional and psychological toll of adults’ decisions.
These burdens don’t just affect our children, but also society as a whole, she continues. “The symptoms manifest in children as insecure attachment, emotional dysregulation, and isolation. Socially, they lead to increased costs due to a greater demand for mental health services, decreased workforce productivity, a weaker social compact [the implicit agreement between the government and the people on their individual roles and shared responsibilities], and the transfer of family care to the state.
“We cannot afford to be a materially-rich but relationally-poor nation.”
Delia Ng on protecting our children
In her opinion, family health and stability are not private matters because they affect a nation’s well-being. A more stable society demands that adults take greater responsibility, put the collective good ahead of selves, acknowledge personal shortcomings, and commit to repairing relationships rather than retreating.
Couples who choose to work through their differences foster resilience and emotional intelligence in their children. It is also crucial that we do not let rapid technological advancements in the hyperconnected world we live in today hinder human connection, Ng avers.
“Thriving family relationships can bring a deep sense of meaning and satisfaction in life that is unquantifiable as they ripple through generations. By safeguarding our families, we raise our human quotient. This ensures that progress does not hollow out our future, but strengthens our nation’s social fabric instead.”
Photography Mun Kong
Art direction Annalisa Espino Lim
Hair Sarah Tan using Goldwell
Makeup Keith Bryant Lee using Shiseido
Photography assistant Melvin Leong
