Singaporeans are progressively receptive to sex positivity, says Meryl Lim. The sex-positive movement advocates for the acceptance of all forms of sexual expression as natural and healthy—free from judgment.
But certain stigmas prevail and the co-owner of Apogee Collective, which operates sexual wellness brands Hedonist and Genvie, endeavours to extenuate them. “We’re always finding ways to improve ourselves in all areas of our lives, so why is enhancing our sexual understanding and well-being through other methods frowned upon?” she reasons.
Sex and pleasure are still objectionable topics so many people rely solely on the Internet for information. But in an age where misinformation is rampant, Lim reckons this can be pernicious. “There may be undue pressure on young people to conform to certain standards, which may negatively impact their views on future sexual experiences.”
Being the change she wants to see means her businesses don’t just retail adult toys, but also champion sex positivity through events and workshops. Hedonist is cheekier and bolder in its approach compared to Genvie.
While it might seem like a greater variety of adult toys are designed for women—perhaps due in part to the fact that women have more erogenous zones— Lim points out that many toys are actually non-gender specific. When using a pleasure device, the focus should lie primarily in how and where it is utilised on the body.
Much as there has been growing demand for this type of products, an indication of social progress, running sexual wellness brands is still no walk in the park. One of Lim’s biggest challenges involves online marketing as platforms such as Instagram and Facebook prohibit the display of sex toys.
“Even when we used illustrations and put out educational content, our posts were removed. The thought of potentially being deplatformed is a nightmare.”
Meryl Lim on the red tape sexual wellness entities have to work around
The arduous search for payment gateways willing to facilitate their e-commerce transactions is another challenge. After launching one of her brands using Stripe, Lim was informed that her business was not compliant with the regulations and told to find an alternative provider. Unconvinced, she did some digging and found that a few competitors have been allowed to continue usage.
“I was confused by the disparity and reached out to Stripe, which then requested a multi-year sales forecast even though I was just months into the business,” she says. “It’s perplexing that its policies seem to have grey areas as it serves some sex toy shops but reject others. Personal connections and sales figures appear to heavily influence their decisions.”
Because sex positivity is often mistaken for promiscuity, there are false assumptions that she promotes sexually indiscriminate behaviour and clients have attempted to take liberties with her and her staff during showroom appointments. Thankfully, these experiences have only made her even more certain of her dedication to continuous messaging and public education.
Lim adds that open dialogue will help dispel myths and develop a healthy degree of understanding, which will in turn foster respect for diverse perspectives and encourage safe and consensual interactions.
In her opinion, these discussions need to be initiated at an earlier age. Also, sex education in schools needs to undergo reform for they are still restricted to biology, STDs and the importance of abstinence. She believes lessons should promote a holistic approach rather than promoting its current fear-based view of sex, pleasure, and consent.
“By improving sex education, individuals will be able to make informed decisions, respect others and maintain healthier relationships. This combination will benefit society in general.”
Style director: Chia Wei Choong
Videographer: Alicia Chong
Photographer: Mun Kong
Photographer’s assistant: Renjie Teo
Makeup: Keith Bryant Lee using Shiseido
Hair: Aung Apichai
