A good father isn’t defined by the hours he spends with his children, says Derek Lau. Time together is the bare minimum. The real measure is the strength of the relationships one builds, explains the chairman of Centre for Fathering (CFF) and father of three.
Founded in 2000, CFF champions active, engaged fatherhood through programmes that equip men with the skills and confidence to navigate every stage of parenting. Its flagship Ican Fathering Workshop emphasises the importance of involvement, consistency, awareness, and nurturance throughout the fatherhood journey. The Great Companies for Dads Awards—launched by former president Halimah Yacob in 2021—honour employers that create family-inclusive practices that better support working fathers.
The non-profit not only delivers more than 200 workshops and programmes each year, but also extends its advocacy beyond fathers. To strengthen co-parenting, CFF not only leads Dads for Life, a national movement encouraging men to become positive influences in their children’s lives, but also oversees Mums for Life, which celebrates women’s multifaceted identities and supports their parenting journeys.
Currently the executive chairman of 3Collective, a wellness lifestyle and hospitality company, Lau previously spent more than a decade as CEO and board member of Temasek-owned Heliconia Capital Management. He took on his role as CFF chair last year.
Lau recognises that many fathers spend less time with their children than they would like due to work commitments. Consequently, one of CFF’s priorities is partnering with employers to create more father-friendly workplaces. Rather than prescribing blanket policies, the organisation starts by understanding a company’s mission, culture, and business realities.
This includes engaging organisations representing gig workers, whose employment arrangements often require a different approach.
“Through that discourse, we identify win-win policies that create an environment where fathers can better fulfil both work and family responsibilities.”
Derek Lau on building a supportive ecosystem
Lau believes most employers want to do right by their people, but balancing business needs with employees’ family responsibilities is a challenge. Flexible work, he notes, was far less common before Covid-19. Now, the gig economy has emerged as a distinct workforce. Therefore, creating father-friendly workplaces isn’t about sacrificing profits, but about building policies that work for both employer and employee.
A common challenge for parents in Singapore, he adds, is that the ideas of what makes a good parent are often shaped by external expectations. Parents who cannot afford tuition, holidays, or even a particular stroller or toy may feel they have fallen short. “They may think, ‘I’m not able to provide so much’.”
Rather than measuring parenting against such yardsticks, Lau believes the definition of a good parent should be broadened so people feel more confident in their role. “This advocacy has to be holistic and create an environment where iron sharpens iron.”
In his view, the greatest gift parents can give their children is the conviction to pursue their own purpose in life rather than societal goals. Reaching that point, he says, starts with building a strong relationship.
Lau’s priority over the next few years is to appoint good stewards who will stay true to CFF’s mission. For him, the role of the board and chairman is to create an environment where they are well equipped to support the management team.
He believes that they must also share the organisation’s values and purpose—and that philosophy extends to how CFF operates. For this reason, Lau has replaced late-night board meetings with late-afternoon sessions that must end before 6pm, underscoring his belief that organisations should model the work-life balance they advocate.
“You can’t expect people to achieve work-life balance if you drag out meetings and waste their time during the day.”
Photography Mun Kong & Hizuan Zailani
Art direction Annalisa Espino Lim
Grooming for Lau Karol Soh using Revlon & Zhou Aiyi using Cle de Peau Beaute
Grooming for Wong & Lim Keith Bryant Lee using Kevin Murphy & Make Up For Ever
